I'm heading off to bed early tonight cuz i really don't feel all that great. I could stay up for another hour or so and play some games, do school work (which a good student would do) or even do what i said i was going to do and try to re-enroll in TriCare (military medical coverage), but i'm not.
I was coming home just a while ago and had to get out my car to open the gate leading onto our property. When i was closing the gate and walking back to my car i looked up to see how dark the night sky was (and therefor how many stars were visible) and saw only one....
It was the star i gave to one of my best friends. It wasn't the same thing as where you call some 1-800 number and buy a star you can only see through the hubble telescope, this one had meaning. We had both known each other for several years because our relatives were practically neighbors (out in the boonies being even 1500 feet from each other makes you neighbors if nothings in between you two) and had spent several summers and winters visiting.
So during my second year of living out here, and his first after finishing high school, we spent as much time together as we could because we always considered each other brothers. So one evening, and i honestly completely forget the context of which this arose, i told him that particular star was his; that it's always there (because it always is) and if he ever felt lonely or sad or anything, to just look up at the sky and the star would remind him that he always had someone who cared for him.
Well after a whole bunch of crap i would really not like to recount, we were no longer friends (most of which was his fault - though some was mine) and i always get a little...well i guess depressed is too strong a word. I get down-spirited whenever i see that star (which is quite often in the late evening before the sky becomes sprinkled with stars) and i know if i'm ever in a relationship like that (either friendship or actual relationship) that i can't do that again because its been marred by that last experience.
I was coming home just a while ago and had to get out my car to open the gate leading onto our property. When i was closing the gate and walking back to my car i looked up to see how dark the night sky was (and therefor how many stars were visible) and saw only one....
It was the star i gave to one of my best friends. It wasn't the same thing as where you call some 1-800 number and buy a star you can only see through the hubble telescope, this one had meaning. We had both known each other for several years because our relatives were practically neighbors (out in the boonies being even 1500 feet from each other makes you neighbors if nothings in between you two) and had spent several summers and winters visiting.
So during my second year of living out here, and his first after finishing high school, we spent as much time together as we could because we always considered each other brothers. So one evening, and i honestly completely forget the context of which this arose, i told him that particular star was his; that it's always there (because it always is) and if he ever felt lonely or sad or anything, to just look up at the sky and the star would remind him that he always had someone who cared for him.
Well after a whole bunch of crap i would really not like to recount, we were no longer friends (most of which was his fault - though some was mine) and i always get a little...well i guess depressed is too strong a word. I get down-spirited whenever i see that star (which is quite often in the late evening before the sky becomes sprinkled with stars) and i know if i'm ever in a relationship like that (either friendship or actual relationship) that i can't do that again because its been marred by that last experience.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
I think that might be a reason i like watching movies so much. it allows me to escape into a world where things may be predictable (especially if you've seen your fair share of movies), but if you can detach yourself from being in the theater and relate fully to the trials and experiences of the characters in the movie, you leave slightly elated with the hope that you might someday feel the way the movie portrayed.
It's a sad fact when you look at it...if your life were anything like what you saw in the movie...you wouldn't be in the theaters watching movies like that; you'd be out having the life you wanted (which is why people who have lives like those in Friends, Will and Grace, That 70's Show, and other shows don't sit around the tv watching it - they're out living it.
It's probably even worse that i'm sitting in front of this computer typing about it rather than having someone to talk to about it - but that's just my character: i give excellent advice to my best friends about relationship issues thy're having, but never seem to bother them with anything that's bothering me. Well you can thank that excellent advice to many movies watched and relationships observed rather than personal experience.
I guess i'll go to bed now; my pillow is lying there looking lonely.
Song of the Night:
Mariah Carey - My All
It's a sad fact when you look at it...if your life were anything like what you saw in the movie...you wouldn't be in the theaters watching movies like that; you'd be out having the life you wanted (which is why people who have lives like those in Friends, Will and Grace, That 70's Show, and other shows don't sit around the tv watching it - they're out living it.
It's probably even worse that i'm sitting in front of this computer typing about it rather than having someone to talk to about it - but that's just my character: i give excellent advice to my best friends about relationship issues thy're having, but never seem to bother them with anything that's bothering me. Well you can thank that excellent advice to many movies watched and relationships observed rather than personal experience.
I guess i'll go to bed now; my pillow is lying there looking lonely.
Song of the Night:
Mariah Carey - My All
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